As a leader, I am having to constantly make changes to our organization. I also know that everyone in our community and world would love to make lasting changes in their lives as well.
BUT CHANGES ARE HARD!! 9 out 10 times when we try to make a change either in our personal lives or in an organization, we fail and we end up back where we started, never getting the change we crave.
Why? Why is it so hard to create lasting change? The reason is because we don't understand how change works. See, to make a lasting permanent change you have to go through two steps: CHAOS AND CONFLICT.
Think of it like climbing a set of 3 stairs. Step 3 is your goal. It is the change step you desire. in an organization maybe it is a structure change. In yourself maybe you are trying to kick an addiction or change the nature of a relationship. But step 3 is the change your desire. Now, to get to step 3 you must ALWAYS go through steps one two, and these steps are chaos and conflict.
Let me explain.
1. Chaos. When you head in a new direction in life, you immediately create a mess. You are changing things up, and that is messy. You may not like where you life used to be but at least you were used to it. Heading towards change immediately causes all kinds of chaos. THAT IS ALWAYS STEP ONE!
For example:
Let's say you want to stop drinking. To do that means you can't go to the same bars or hang with the same people you used to hang with because they enabled you. To stop going to these places and hanging with these people will create all kinds of chaos in your life. You will have to try to figure out what to do with your time and who to hang out with.
Most people hate chaos so much they just go back to old hangouts and old friends and right back to drinking again. You have to lean into the chaos, embrace it, and stay with it if you want the lasting change. Chaos is your friend. Don't run from it.
2. Conflict. The second step when you seek change is conflict. Many people are used to the old you, and they will be seriously put off by the new you. This will create tension in your relationships. People will seek to keep you from becoming who you know you need to be. LEAN into the conflict instead of away from it.
If you run from conflict you will resort back to your old self and never get the change you want. However ,if you lean into conflict and remember the change is worth it, you will get the change you desire.
Many times I have had to change things about our church, our family or myself. And in every situation there has always been chaos and conflict. The times I leaned into these, I got the change I craved. The times I ran from these, I resorted back to my old ways.
To get change you must walk up the steps of Chaos and Conflict. DO it. It is so worth it.
I really enjoy going to the crossing. It's such a hands on type of teaching. I heard on KTIS this morning about about a pastor in ER shedding his stuff. Didn't mention him by name but the message still got out. It was so cool. I'm so proud and blessed to be a part of this church. God is so good Cheryl Marx
Posted by: Cheryl Marx | July 14, 2009 at 02:51 PM
I thank God everyday for what I have but I really feel blessed. After a year of looking and praying for a job I finally got one. Starting PT that's OK. My daughter comes home one day says fill out this appl. says it's a sure thing. A couple weeks later I have a job. My son helped me get into a car, I got a car. I'm thinking of the song, Jesus loves me. Cheryl Marx
Posted by: Cheryl Marx | July 14, 2009 at 03:14 PM
I just want to thank everyone involved at this church for everything that I have experienced, for it has changed my life so much! I took Eric's advise every morning and hit my knees before my feet, it truly makes a huge difference in my life every day. Thank you Eric and YEA GOD!
Posted by: Doug Ommart | July 17, 2009 at 09:17 AM