Someone I respect showed me a super sucky new study on the effects of porn on marriages, families and teenagers. Please read this, and if you struggle with this stuff or know someone who does, please call or email our office and we can get you some help. (Don't worry; it will be completely confidential.)
The study is done by Patrick F. Fagan. (Fagan is Senior Fellow and Director of the Center for Research on Marriage and Religion at the Family Research Counsel.) Here is a bullet-point summary of what he had to say, and my thoughts after each point:
- Pornography is addictive, and neuroscientists are beginning to map the biological substrate of this addiction. (DUH!!!! This is as big an an addiction as drugs or alcohol but harder to conquer because sex is a natural, God-given craving. RUN FROM THIS CRAP!!)
- Users tend to become desensitized to the type of pornography they use, become bored with it, and then seek more perverse forms of pornography. (AGAIN DUH!! People need more and more deviant stuff to satisfy their twisted cravings.)
- Married men who are involved in pornography feel less satisfied with their conjugal relations and less emotionally attached to their wives. Wives notice and are upset by the difference. (HOLY COW THIS IS NOT ROCKET SCIENCE! Dudes, I think one of the main reason I see couples in counseling is because husbands just shut down with their wives and are emotionally and sexually distant. This stuff ruins marriages. IT WILL NOT HELP YOUR SEX-LIFE AND MARRIAGE)
- Pornography use is a pathway to infidelity and divorce, and is frequently a major factor in these family disasters. (Most dudes who end up in affairs also look at porn regularly.)
- Among couples affected by one spouse's addiction, two-thirds experience a loss of interest in sexual intercourse. (Seriously guys this is insane. GOD GIVES YOU A WIFE, AND YOU WOULD RATHER USE YOUR HAND AND AN AIRBRUSHED PRETEND WOMAN? COME ON, THIS IS SO SAD! LOVE YOUR WIFE! I KNOW THIS TAKES HARD WORK BUT YOU CAN DO IT! MEN, if you struggle with this you have to get some help!! You can change! Christ can give you the power to KEEP YOUR EYES ON YOUR OWN WIFE AND BE GOOD TO HER AND LOVE HER WELL! WOMEN, I know that many of you struggle with porn also. Talk to someone. Get some help. YOU CAN HAVE A HOT SMOKING AWESOME SEX LIFE AGAIN!! DON'T LIVE IN THIS INSANITY!!)
- Many adolescents who view pornography initially feel shame, diminished self-confidence, and sexual uncertainty, but these feelings quickly shift to unadulterated enjoyment with regular viewing. (Our teenagers are in serious trouble. Most kids have viewed porn by age 12. PARENTS PROTECT YOUR KIDS!! GET FILTERS ON YOUR COMPUTERS! MONITOR THEIR INTERNET USE, MOVIE CHOICES AND TEXT MESSAGING! PROTECT YOUR KID FROM BECOMING AN ADDICT!!)
- The main defenses against pornography are close family life, a good marriage and good relations between parents and children, coupled with deliberate parental monitoring of Internet use. (Basically the way you stop porn is to love your wife/husband well. Be honest and open about your junk. Pay attention to your children; don't just send them off to school and hope for the best. AND PUT FILTERS ON YOUR COMPUTERS! Resources: www.xxxchurch.com and www.bsecure.com
IF YOU STRUGGLE WITH THIS, I KNOW YOU ARE FEELING SUPER GUILTY RIGHT NOW! GUILT MANY TIMES LEADS YOU TO SHAME, AND YOU CONTINUE TO HIDE YOUR PROBLEM! YOU CAN'T CHANGE IF YOU KEEP HIDING! TALK TO SOMEONE! THIS IS NOT UNSOLVABLE!
Adults: You can confidentially email pastor Bruce for help at: Brauma@crossing-church.com
Students: You can confidentially email pastor John our student ministries pastor for help at: jhill@crossing-church.com
